21/06/2006. Wednesday

21/06/2006. Wednesday

During the day - Home - symptoms 2-3
9:00 SR 1 mg Xanax Zoloft + 12.5 mg (1/4 tbl)
09:45 Helex 0.125 mg + 12.00 mg Helex 0.125 + 0.125 mg Helex 16:00
Hot, nervous, weak, dizziness, anxiety ... While it was a bit colder I knew I sit at the computer and 'fun', and thoughts turn to do something, or translate for the firm, but in the room I was over 30 degrees and now it is at any time of the day is simply impossible. Thus my days are long and boring and hard in. ..

Evening - Dr. D.Š. (Control of the hospital) symptoms 4-5
18:30 Helex 0.5 mg
I'm on the verge of panic. I am not able to drive because of palpitations, dizziness, weakness ... I hate heat and heat, and no breath of wind.
Dad drives me to the hospital for an agreed control, but none of it - is a doctor on call, there is an emergency and there is no time to receive me. At the same time I feel and understanding but also a disappointment because I barely dragged there, waited for an hour and then turned back home. The equally weak and shaky legs, and my condition is getting worse. Sometimes I think of that and I just answer the urgent (I know that's rude, but if that is the only way ...) The first time I ordered the control I was looking for was in the hospital for more than half an hour and by chance came upon her in the Admissions Department, the second time she was outside so I received another doctor, this is the third time today ... I'm starting to do that makes little sense to come here ... Only further upset. And burdens the family because I am not alone in not able to reach the controls.
Pretty bothers me the inability to talk to someone about their problems. If you are a mom and engages in conversation, my daughter, but after a few minutes 'nakenja' to see what was going on, which made me stop and quite upset. Sometimes ask her to leave us alone, and then I'm out of my life because I know that it is quite worried, and I failed to hide from her problems. This additional burden for me. My mother only partly understood (similar disease / disorder is passed), but the climax is itself obsolete, and can often be rude and inconsiderate and porječkamo. Father makes little understanding (when it is more or less boils down to this: 'Leave the cigarette and take a job' (which I broke up in the end)), and my daughter is very worried. A conversation I miss her very much. I have friends with whom I could share it and feel really lonely. Besides, even if I did, where I could say, "When I close the door of the apartment, my hands start to shake you barely locked. And when I go to the elevator and out, cut off my legs, I run out of air and spinning it. And that fear. Admittedly undefined and unreasonable. Do not worry, it's not contagious, so we can hang out "- I think that anyone remotely normal (except maybe a medic) ran like hell.
20:30 Ranital 300 mg + 37.5 mg Zoloft 23:40 (3/4 tbl) + 1 mg Xanax SR
TOTAL DURING THE DAY: Zoloft 1 tbl / Helex 0.875 mg / Xanax SR 2 mg