SATURDAY, 17.06.2006.

SATURDAY, 17.06.2006.

In the morning and throughout the day:
Helex 0.5 mg (about 8 am)
We need to go to Grandma's house, and I like a nervous dog, which of sleepless nights, and they fear what will happen. I know - irrational - but why it's considered a disorder. None of the other drugs I took in order to avoid the side effects of the extra day when we really are and they do not need.
Helex 0.5 mg (about 11:45) + Helex 0.5 mg (about 17.30)
All-day agitation, constant frightened, dizziness and vision problems. We drove up to my grandmother on my father and I's dismissal, although the mileage is actually funny, and until two months ago I was not a problem. No way you can relax with my grandmother (lives in the village), despite the fact that I barely met her bitch and licked me all the happiness to see me. Of course it pleased me, but ... Somehow I do not feel pleasure in things that delighted me before and I can not relax so I could enjoy in anything. Even I had been taken and weakness and desks due to nervousness. And trembling slightly with the occasional lack of air.
About 15 hours, I got some sleep. Moving and nausea. It's pretty hot and muggy day.
Around 19 pm we head back to Zagreb (I struggled to return the same day because the thought of another night like this last year, but outside the home, is filled with horror). Still dizziness and vision problems. And, of course, fear. Yet I ride the first few miles, but the concentration we soon fall and dizziness and vision problems caused me more stress, which in turn followed by muscle rigidity and tremors and so control cars leave dad, but that to me is an added stress because of the worse driver than me, so that's my reason for additional fear. DISASTER!
We finally rolled home and became calmer. But I feel heartburn.
Evening:
Sulpiride today I skipped completely (intentionally because I'm afraid of my insomnia and intense discomfort caused by him), and taking
Zoloft 25 mg + 300 mg Ranital. Bedtime planning and Helex 0.5 mg in hopes of at least a little sleep.
While I should be happy as the day went at least somewhat successful, I do not feel anything 'victory' except uncertainty regarding side effects and nights in front of me. Even more so since I took Zoloft before tonight.