23.06.2006. Friday

23:06:06. Friday

Before noon - Home - 3 symptoms
10:00 Xanax SR 1 mg + 11.00 Helex 0.125 mg Helex + 12.00 + 13.00 0.125 mg 0.125 mg Helex

Well I slept the night of 3 to 10 in the morning. But then ... Anxiety, depression, fear, reticence, withdrawal, nerazgovorljivost ... and all because you should see the control of the hospital and later at their general practitioner. All morning thinking how to get out of the house, to get to the hospital (alone can not drive, and the dad just can not count ...) Shortly before 13 o'clock start calling Dr. D.Š. the hospital to agree on the terms, but he does not manage to get it, is constantly there. Around 14 pm my dad comes home from work and says that ga kidney pain and can not drive me immediately but must rest. A doctor I work up to 16 hours. I continue to call around 15:20 and only I can get it and I'm trying to explain to her that today I will not be able to come, with the intention to seek another term. For me it is something like this: "I think this makes no sense, my recommendation was Seroxat (response to a query whether the worsening of my condition caused Zoloft), I think it's best to contact your doctor who you copied it. (Note: the doctor gave me a due date is still 29.08. Alive so who - who is dead - who's healthy by then). Otherwise, this deterioration can be doing Zoloft and should get better after three weeks. I found you a date for group therapy so call the Dr. and-and-and. Later, one. ' I exaggerate a little word, but to me it sounded sort of like 'clothes ..' Resident superb approach - the future psychiatrist, no nothing. There will surely be successful. And all previous appointments were missed by his fault, not mine.
Of course, catches me despair - I did so bad that doctors refuse me? I do not know what I'd taken. What next? I only think about the disease. And I know that it's bad.

Afternoon - Dr. GP
16:30 Helex 0.375 mg

Around 17 o'clock I go to a nearby clinic. Time is not so terribly hot and steamy as the previous day, so I said, to make at least something. I come up to the hospital, and in the hall, with no air, temperature 10 degrees higher than outside and probably 99% humidity nine people sitting in front of me. Sweat poured down the back and feel weak. I gave up. I started to cry. Do I have come to the point that I can not even go on any control? The doctor I work on Mon morning, so I'll try again. I'm really desperate already.

Evening - Walk - symptoms 2-4

I tired myself with despair. I go out to walk, at least five minutes. I manage to withstand the 30-minutes alone, with a little shiver, a little weak, a little dizzy ... But I manage. And returns home sweaty and wet as if someone spilled, also faltering. And outside, pleasantly fresh. Perversion.

20:00 Xanax SR 1 mg + 300 mg Ranital 22:00 + 00:00 Zoloft 50 mg
TOTAL DURING THE DAY: Zoloft 1 tbl / Helex 0.875 mg / Xanax SR 2 mg