22.06.2006. Thursday

22.06.2006. Thursday

During the day - Home - Symptoms intensity: 1/5
10:30 Xanax SR 1 mg + 0.125 mg Helex 12:30 + 16:30 Helex 0.125 mg
Come on, at least I slept through the night (from about 1 after midnight to 10 am). The whole day I got home, the thought of going from an apartment in this unbearable heat and sultriness fills me with a feeling of pins and needles horror and fear, and of course the weakness and dizziness. I became a prisoner in his house and the fans who vegetate all day. I feel despair and sorrow over herself because this is exactly what you should not do. Today is the daughter of my acquaintance was celebrating my birthday and baby and I were invited, but I was able to take so I'm told, and a small (10 yrs.), I, with great remorse, glossed over this birthday in the hope that forgot.
The instructions for Zoloft I read that the gradual improvement can already be seen for 7 days - today is my ninth day so hopefully it will improve soon be unhappy. After all, I doubt that we could be worse - my life these past 9 days was reduced to four walls and a fan. Poor and miserable, and now I'm dopizdilo. I decided in the evening, when it gets cold, get herself out of the apartment, even for 5 minutes to sit under the window.

Evening - Walk - Symptoms 2.5
Well, I went out alone, without escort and survived. Walk 25 minutes, though not too far from the building where I live, because I later overcome by humid heat discomfort, shortness of breath and dizziness, so I sped walk toward the house, but I made it! I came home all wet with sweat, the shirt I could squeeze - which from the humid heat of fear.
Is ... medication and therapy when I was just worse than anything (of the drugs we have been aggravated and departures at the controls just upset me). Trust in the ... Although I was somewhat easier by talking to a psychiatrist, that incentive is very short (a few hours). Basically, I'm happy and everything seems to me more that I have to pull myself out of trouble and this way you know and can do. Sucks.
Tomorrow afternoon I have to control, and other general practice should be with Dr. D.Š. There's no way to do a both - do not even know what to do a no way. Catches and passes me shiver to the bones - the fear of heat, from sunrise, of waiting, of weakness, of fear, of all ...
And on the job - and miserable from day to day miserable. Salary is late and does not know when he will, boss drank with nonsense instead get busy, debts are piling up and he is not doing anything ... It would take God, Allah and Buddha, if not even a deity that something positive happens to him. Sometimes it seems that the worse (or sicker) than me. However, I saw one when Tegretol pills on the table, I assume that its not know what it could be (7-8 months ago mentioned that he was going to brain CT or something). Maybe that's why there is somewhat understanding towards me? (Admittedly not too much, but certainly more than many other employers.)
19:00 Xanax SR 1 mg + 0.125 mg Helex 21:00 22:00 Ranital + 300 mg + 50 mg Zoloft 00:00
TOTAL DURING THE DAY: Zoloft 1 tbl / Helex 0.375 mg / Xanax SR 2 mg